This is kind of a hard post to write.  I’m still a little shocked and very much saddened.   Neal and I often walk to Target.  It’s near our house, we need the exercise and its better for the environment than driving that short distance.  On the walk home tonight, we stopped at an entrance to a parking lot for a car that was turning.  The driver, an African American woman, waved us ahead.  After we crossed, she turned into the parking lot behind us and as she did so yelled “FAGS!” out her car window at us.

After calming Neal down enough to keep him from chasing her down and insisting that she say it to his face (I don’t know where the bail money is!), I thought about this and several things troubled me.  First of all, I’m always troubled by bigots that are too cowardly to show their bigotry.  Driving by and yelling derogatory slurs is cowardly.  It’s how you be a bigot without being at risk.

The worst part though was that I hoped she later realized the irony of hurling a hateful, prejudicial slur at a minority group on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  The irony certainly wasn’t lost on me.  It’s a problem for the GLBT community.  As long as other minorities don’t see the inequality of GLBT people as a civil rights issue, how are we as a community supposed to relate to those other communities without appearing deeply racist or discriminatory ourselves?  I honestly believe that most of the GLBT community sees equality as a right for everyone.  After all isn’t that what this country was founded upon–the ideal that ALL men were created equally.  So how is it that a community that less than 50 years ago was making that argument in defense of their own civil rights can stand up and say that all men were created equally except for those fags, dykes and trannies?

I hope that more of the African American community will come to the realization that unless everyone is equal, our country is not living up to the ideals that Dr. King believed in and that our founding fathers believed in.   Until everyone is free, no one is truly free.  So to those in the African American community that do understand the struggle of GLBT people as a civil rights issue, I say “Thank You”.  To those of you that are part of the GLBT community or are allies of the GLBT community, I say “Thank You”.  But to those of you that are happy to have your civil rights and the “fags” be damned, I say “FUCK YOU!”

If you’ve ever browsed crafts marketplace, Etsy, you’ve encountered the term “upcycled”.   Upcycling is a clever marketing term that people have invented to try to make their craft seem “green” or environmentally friendly.  In non-PC terms however, upcycling = “making crafts out of trash”.

I think Helen Killer of Regretsy (a fantastic site that snarks the worst of Etsy) expressed it the best.  One of her features was a clock that the seller “upcycled” from a “CD destined for the trash”.  Helen commented, “Oh you may have spray painted it green, but its destination hasn’t changed.”  I think that’s the essential problem with upcycling.  Most of the upcycling I’ve seen really hasn’t done much to make the item any less trash than it was.

Before anyone gets the idea that I’m anti-recycling, I want to point out that I have no problem with recycled materials.  I’ve seen some really great things made from recycled materials including new items knit from the frogged items, items sewn from old tablecloths, and so on.  I have a great deal of respect for using recycled materials.  The difference here, in my opinion, is that when artisans use recycled materials they’re taking an old item and stripping it down to its components and then making something entirely new and useful from it.  Most of the upcycling I’ve seen is, to be blunt, gilding a turd.  Sticking clock hands on a trashed CD doesn’t really do that much to improve the piece of trash.    I’ve even seen some great steam punk stuff made from old discards.  Again, I think the difference lies in how much additional work and modification went into it.  And I’d not that the steam punk artists don’t list their items as “upcycled”.  And often, it would hard to identify what the item was in its previous incarnation.  Most of the upcycled items are pretty easy to identify what trash they were made from.

So please, can we stop with the goofy pseudo-green, PC term “upcycling”.  If you’re going to make crafts from trash.  Go for it!  Just call it that.  And if you use recycled materials in new work, I’d love to see it labeled as “Recycled Materials”.  But “upcycling” is silly.

I’m a huge fan of Brezsny’s Freewill Astrology.  (I’m not necessarily an astrology believer but I think there’s some truth and patterns to it.  Rob’s horoscopes though are always a fan read and feel relevant).  The Sagittarius horoscope for this week reads:

“You can have it all,” says fashion designer Luella Bartley. “It’s just really hard work.” That’s my oracle for you, Sagittarius — not just for this week, but for the next three months as well. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos will indeed permit you to have your cake and eat it, too, as long as you’re willing to manage your life with more discipline, master the crucial little details everyone else neglects, and always give back at least as much as you’re given.

This is especially relevant right now.  I was planning on writing a post about New Year’s resolutions and my struggles to keep an exercise regimen going, make some health changes, hold down a full time job and start a side business in design.  Reading Rob’s horoscope this morning made me realize 1.) that it is all possible and 2.) that it’s going to take a real commitment and a lot of work.  I knew that but I didn’t know it.

Hard work?  Not a problem.  I can do that.  Giving back as much as I get?  Also, no problem.  I’m pretty generous and really enjoy sharing my good fortunes with others.  Discipline and mastering all the little details?  OUCH!  I think Rob just hit my Achille’s heel.  See I’m mildly ADD.  I’ve taken meds before but most people close to me, including Neal, didn’t like the changes to my personality that came with the meds.  Others like my mum believe that I’m not actually ADD but just have a different cognitive style than the norm.  Regardless of who’s right, one thing is true.  There seems to be a little cloud of chaos that follows me about as my attention and passions shift constantly from one thing to the other.  This has also been my biggest challenge: finding that singular focus and seeing a project all the way to the end before I zoom off on the next new thing.

My resolutions this year include the usual health and exercise and weight loss resolutions.  But the big one is that I’m going to get organized.  I’m going to get disciplined.  And I’m going to see projects through to the end.  I don’t have a strong system yet but I definitely have the motivation and the goals.  With some help from those I love and that love me, I’ll do it.  And it’ll be worth it.  After all, I really CAN have it all.

There’s a saying, “A picture is worth 1,000 words”. It’s true. My sister visited us over the week after Christmas. She’s an avid Macy’s fan. When my mum told her that Neal and I went to the Macy’s in New York City, her response was, “They went to the Vatican?”. Anyway, she’s stationed near Tuscon and there isn’t a Macy’s nearby. Neal took her shopping across the street at Easton Towne Center while she was here and the photo in this post was taken with his cell phone in Macy’s.  This would be a wall display.  The photo doesn’t show the empty bars above it on the wall but you can see the clothes on the floor.

Macy’s is supposed to be an upscale retailer.  Can I please get a show of hands?  How many of you are willing to pay upscale prices for merchandise that’s been sitting on the floor.  It’s sad to see retailers with a long tradition of customer focus such as Lazarus and Marshall Fields reduced to this.

There’s a bit of history to this tale too.  About a week before Christmas, Neal went into Macy’s early in the morning.  He saw this type of mess throughout the store and a group of employees standing around talking.  Several times between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we had to go on the great employee hunt to pay for purchases we wanted to make.  Neal complained and one of the assistant managers called him and <drum roll, please> made excuses.  The store was a mess because of the holidays.  Neal didn’t buy that story after seeing so many people standing around and complained to their corporate.  The general manager called and gave him the same story.

When I saw this photo and heard about this from my sister, I wrote a complaint at the Macy’s web site.  The next day, a member of the local executive team called me and made the same excuses.  The holidays trashed the store and so on.  He offered to send us a gift card to shop the next week when the store would be up to standards.

Well I did receive the “card”.  It was actually a coupon for $25 off a purchase of $25 or more.  It was wrapped in a blank piece of Macy’s stationery.  That’s right–blank.  No letter.  No note.  Just a blank piece of paper.  We went to shop and found the store looked just as bad as it always does.  We ended up not using the coupon and left the store in disgust.

Some might think Neal and I are being unreasonable but Neal’s been a Macy’s card holder for a number of years and we have spent a lot of money there.  The service at the Easton store is terrible.  You can never find an employee, stuff is always on the floor and when you do find an employee, there’s a group of them standing around doing nothing.  I’d also like to mention that both of us have been retail managers in the past, so the whole “holidays are too busy” argument just doesn’t wash with us.  As retail management veterans of a number of holiday seasons, we know that it is possible to keep your store fresh looking and presentable while still giving customers good service.

Sorry Macy’s or should I say Messy’s, no more excuses.

Julie Brown’s spoof of Madonna’s Truth or Dare rockumentary, Medusa: Dare to Be Truthful,  is likely to be some of her best work.    It was released on VHS in 1994.  Neal and I had believed that it was never released on DVD (an Amazon search disproves this).

Yesterday, Neal made the happy discovery that this gem is now available on iTunes.  He, of course, immediately purchased it and we watched it again last night.  I’ve forgotten just how funny Julie Brown can be.  This movie is so much fun.  The spoofs of Madonna’s songs are brilliant with Vague being the best.    We had a great time watching it.  The only sad thing is that there isn’t a CD or an iTunes download of just the songs.

Reality TV shows and the outrageous stunts people undertake to try to gain reality tv fame (think the Salahis and the balloon boy parents) make Julie Brown’s words in Vague even more true today — “Why they’re famous we don’t know. Paula Abdul has got to go. Vague.”

As Neal and I are planning to start a clothing company in the near future, we’ve been learning all we can about the industry and the various legal requirements.  One of those requirements is the care and content label.    Kathleen has a number of blog posts on labeling over at Fashion Incubator.   On the one hand, a small sewing business doesn’t want the expense of having many different care labels printed.  However, it’s not legal to simply mark everything “Dry Clean Only”.  Kathleen stresses the importance of test washing your materials to determine the correct care procedures.  Neal and I were discussing this the other day and he pointed out this:

The article is a Gap throw.  The care instructions read “Do Not Wash or Dry Clean”.  Since I know Neal’s washed it several times, I have to wonder if Gap did any materials testing on this article and labeled it appropriately.  (I should also note that in our household there’s no such thing as “Do Not Wash”.  My husband washes everything.)

We launched this blog at Christmas 2008. I wrote a post. Neal wrote a post. And that was about it. The server was even down for some time while I was wrapped up in other projects. Recently, we decided that we’d give this blog another go. I’ll probably post more than Neal does. We’ll also share photos and other fun things and we’ve decided to add an online shop to our blog featuring some of the items we previously had on Etsy. We’re working on a new site for our line of bags so eventually, you’ll be able to shop there too.

The relaunch has been a major learning experience. A lot of wordpress plugins that I used to like are no longer maintained and seem to not be compatible with the latest version. I’ve also discovered some that, frankly, I like better. I’ve also learned a lot more about creating themes. I started with the “Sandbox” framework and basically stripped everything out of it until I had a bare skeleton of a theme. We hope you enjoy our new blog.

Six months ago, right before Columbus Pride, I met an incredible man named Neal.  We had an instant chemistry and now we’re building a life together.  Part of this process includes the many things that couples do together like taking trips, celebrating events, getting to know each other’s friends and of course, our first Christmas together.

Shopping for Neal has been a challenge this year because we always seem to be together.  He likes to take photos though and has really been enjoying Facebook.  It gave me the idea to give him a blog for Christmas…this blog.

Merry Christmas, Neal.  I love you.

Technorati Profile